Welp... I snuck downstairs the other day to check on the progress of our apartment gym... and it's not lookin good. They have gutted the whole thing and even taken out some of the walls. If I had to guess, it won't be done until after Thanksgiving at the earliest... but I'm not THAT hopeful. Until the reopening, I'm kinda in a holding pattern as far as working out is concerned. I still make it a point to try and get out of the apartment every day, and I walk to wherever I'm going (within reason), but until I can get back into doing some REAL cardio, there's just not much I can do. Oh well.. I'm going to take a break from the blog for a while - until I've made real progress or when the gym reopens.. whichever happens first.

Day 15

So.. week 2 with no gym...
     And they REALLY need to finish up on that fast. I am getting sick and tired of the guy now running his personal training sessions in the courtyard right outside my window... I wouldn't mind it if not for the fact that he is playing his workout mix super loud. These walls are not sound-proof!
     Also, my body decided to betray me, and I've been sick-ish the past few days. I say "ish" because I was just feeling lethargic and fuzzy-brained for a while and then, two days ago, my throat started to close up on me. Last night I went to sleep feeling horrible, and this morning I was back to being fuzzy-brained and exhausted. I really hope this doesn't become a pattern. Also, my left inner ear hurts... no idea why... it's just twinging a bit.
     The only good thing to come out of my random illness, is that I suddenly became motivated to get some painting done. I had been commissioned (sort of) to do a painting a loooong while ago by a family member, and I've put it off for way too long. I really still need to get back to work on modeling in Maya.. but, for some reason, I can't seem to migrate to my desktop until after 3pm.. and by then I'm already thinking about the dinner I need to start making and whether or not I need to run to the store or not. Anyways, at least I'm doing something artistic again...
     If only I could find work :(  I decided a few weeks ago that I really needed to just start applying for any kind of job, so I did. I applied to a bunch of craigslist listings, I applied a while back to the Cost Plus down the street that was hiring and even to Vons... but I haven't heard back from any of them. I'm starting to freak out that maybe I won't be able to find work at all... of any kind.. Bleh..
     Anyways, back on the weight thing... I ate HORRIBLY over the weekend. J and I ate out several times - Panera, Panda Express, Costco Pizza, Salsa Fresca. Despite all of that, my weight dipped down to 182.4.. Perhaps it's the day of walking we did on Saturday? Or all those trips to Bed Bath & Beyond to try and put together a registry (which went okay).... Regardless of how that happened, I managed to undo that progress yesterday - cooped up all day under countless blankets, drinking lemonade and tea by the gallon, and snacking on chips and salsa. I am back to 183.4, and not terribly happy about it...
     Which all brings me back to my original point - they really need to hurry up and finish that gym!

Day 10

     Starting weight this morning : 183. I am back down to where I finished my previous diet at the beginning of this year. I can't say I'm back in the same kind of shape I was in then, but at least I'm back to a decent starting point. Getting down to 170 before the wedding seems very doable now. I mean, ideally, I want to get all the way back down to 140-150, but since I only have a half year to lose before the wedding, and based on previous weight loss attempts, I should be able to at least get down to below 170. I'll worry about the rest of it after the honeymoon ;)
     Anyways, since I haven't really had much opportunity to work out over the past few days (with the gym being closed), I have to assume that the weight loss is a result of my changed diet. I am eating a LOT more veggies and fruit, and a lot less meat and grains. Most of my munching during the day is now fruits and veggies instead of chips and salsa or similar. Lots of carrots, and lots of oranges and grapefruit. Hmmm... speaking of grapefruit, I probably should have bought more on my trip to Costco yesterday. Oh well.
      What I DID buy was a roasted chicken, which was delicious and should provide leftovers for at least another day or two. I am planning on using the leftovers tonight to make stuffed bell peppers. Stuffed peppers has become a go to meal for me, since it is super simple to make, and not terribly heavy either. I slice the bells in half, grill them on my grill pain with a spray of olive oil (with my misto!) and then bake them with a mixture of quinoa and brown rice (ready made packs from Costco, super yum), sauteed veggies, whatever leftover meats I happen to have from the night before (it's really tasty with Italian sausage), and sprinkling of pepperjack cheese. I'm hungry just thinking about it! And then, over the weekend, I'll be using my new (used) slow-cooker to make shredded chicken in salsa verde for taco night! It's all about simple recipes with more fresh vegetables.
     I really hope the new gym is completed soon. I heard them working on it downstairs, and J said that it looked like they were gutting the whole thing, but I haven't actually been down to investigate. While I know that they are getting new gym equipment, which is already exciting, I am also excited to see what other changes they might make. I am hoping beyond hope that they will be putting in an air conditioning system, since that little room can get very hot during the summer (who wants to exercise in 90 degree heat?). I am also hoping (though I'm doubtful about this) that they might put in a TV screen or two - since that would make exercising far more interesting for me. I'm not getting my hopes up or anything.... but I really am hoping :)

current weight: 183
weight lost: 2.6 pounds
progress: frustrated over lack of gym access. I've been really sluggish lately (more than usual), and it's still really difficult to get up in the morning... and even harder to get working. As for food, I have probably been doing too much snacking, but not with bad foods. Still, need to be more careful about what I'm eating during the day when I'm alone..

Day 8-9

     So, I'm not quite sure what to say about the past two days. I spent the majority of yesterday out to lunch with my friend Megan - in which we talked for hours and I updated her on the bridesmaid dresses situation. I then spent the rest of the day re-figuring out how to use Photoshop. See, I hadn't updated the program since the very first CS version, and apparently a lot of things have changed and a lot of tools work differently. I'm still having difficulties getting used to the changes in the selection tools, but it's getting easier. I've been working on a cartoon version of me and J for our wedding invites, which is going okay, but I can't stop second guessing myself. I kinda like it, but feel like it could be better, ya know?

     Anyways, as for food, yesterday consisted of a grapefruit, a chicken burrito bowl and way too much diet coke, and a chicken burger with veggies wrapped in a tortilla. Today consisted of a SmartOnes breakfast sammie, two mini spicy chicken sammies (also SmartOnes), and then a roasted chicken (from Costco) and small spinach salad. All in all, I feel like I haven't been eating Unhealthily, but I've been eating a lot, and with the gym closed, I'm not getting enough exercise to balance it out. Fortunately, I'm still in the negative pounds, having gotten back down to the 183.5 I got down to before the weekend. That being said, there's no telling what the results will be tomorrow. 

     I think I will go walking tomorrow.... 

Day 7

     So this past weekend was awful.... at least, as far as my diet is concerned.

     Friday afternoon J texts me to say that we've been invited to go see Ender's Game in Huntington Beach with a friend of J's. It sounded like a fun night, so I said sure we could go. So, that evening, after J came home from work, we drove out to HB (which is about an hour and a half drive in traffic btw) to meet at his house and go from there. We got there a bit late, and decided we wouldn't be able to make the earlier showtime unless we skipped dinner, and being as hungry as we was, we couldn't very well do that. So, we opted for a 9:20 showing and went to dinner. 

     We ended up going to a place called Slapfish, which I had visited once before and is quite tasty, albeit not terribly healthy. After munching on a few fish tacos, we made our way to the theatre just in time for the movie. I was super shocked that the theater actually had a system which involved choosing our seats. A seating chart! For a movie theater! Personally, I think that this is rather genius, especially as far as opening weekends are concerned, since it means not having to search in vain for the right number of seats in a row, all the while some selfish person has left an empty seat next to them simply from not wanting to sit next to anyone (I have encountered this problem SO many times). We went in, found our seats, and settled in for the film.

     The movie was pretty good. Was it the best movie ever? No. But I hadn't really expected it to be. Movies based on books are always fairly hit or miss, and the book is pretty much always better in every way. I feel like they did a fairly good job translating the book, but they did end up leaving a lot out. The first half felt very choppy and truncated and felt as though it was missing scenes here and there.. especially where the battle sims are concerned. They were in the middle of their first battle game, and then, all of a sudden, they were about to start their last. I think they could have very easily added a half an hour or more. I mean, if they can make three 3-hour movies out of a single book for the Hobbit, then they should certainly be able to justify creating a single 2.5-3 hour movie for this book. All nitpicking aside, it was still a very fun movie, and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: entertain! 

     Then there was Saturday. We had made plans weeks ago to go tailgating and then to the Bruins game at the Rose Bowl with a bunch of J's frat brothers and friends, and though we had no firm plans of exactly HOW that was going to happen, we made it work. We all met up at a friend's place before carpooling to the bowl (good thing, since it's $25 to park there). We arrived fairly late, and thus were only able to snack and drink for a bit, instead of the traditional BBQ affair. So what was so bad here? J's fraternity brothers decided we should play a drinking game.. the game in question? Thunderstruck. The basis of this game is all to do with a song: Thunderstruck. In said song, they say the word "thunder" about a million times, and each time it is said, someone must drink until it is said again. Unfortunately, I got stuck on one of the longest choruses between "thunder"s and ended up drinking a full 2 hard ciders by the end of the song. To say that I was drunk would probably be an understatement. I went from sober to drunk at such a rapid pace, I could barely handle it. 

      The game was fun, with the Bruins coming out on top, and at the conclusion of the game, a few friends decided it was time for food. Such friends, I should also mention, are from San Diego, and are thus not in this area much. So, they wanted to go someplace for food that they couldn't get back home... and what did they want? Roscoe's. For those of you who don't already know, Roscoe's is a fairly famous place and is known specifically for fried chicken and waffles. DELICIOUS chicken and waffles. That's pretty much the entirety of the menu: chicken, waffles, greens, grits, gravy... There is a salad on the menu, but I should think that it is most likely no more healthy than any other option on the menu, since it is topped in fried chicken. While I didn't finish my entire meal, I did end up scarfing down a fried chicken thigh and almost two super-scruptious waffles... and while they tasted amazing, I was definitely feeling a bit of regret later. 

     Sunday we did a bit better. We opted for a quiet day at home, but decided that we wanted to get out of the apartment for at least a little while. So, we walked the mile and a half to get to Panera's to get soup, salad, and sammies. While we had done a fair amount of walking, and I had watched my calories at Panera, I still felt like I needed to make up for all the bad eating over the past few days. So, for dinner, I made a nice big spinach salad with a homemade balsamic vinaigrette, dried cranberries, and toasted walnuts (yum!).

     Today, I stepped on the scale and found myself back at 185. Not a huge gain, but I'm definitely sad to have lost progress. So, with the gym now closed, I needed to find some other way of staying active. I also had a prescription that needed to be picked up. So, I decided that, instead of driving the mile and a half (as I tend to do), I would walk. I was a bit nervous about the weather, since the sky looked a bit stormy, but I took my chances (and an umbrella) and went on my way. Despite the weather, it was still really warm, and I fortunately didn't end up needing the umbrella or my sweatshirt. I picked up my prescription and walked the extra bit to the store to pick up some supplies for dinner tonight: Caprese ravioli with a fresh tomato basil sauce, accompanied by a small spinach salad. I feel like I did OK today, but I am still searching for an alternative to the gym that will help me keep on my path.

     Wish me luck!

Day 3

     Things are definitely not going as planned.
     I woke up yesterday, eager to start on my Halloween project - I was tasked with bringing fruit stuffs to a potluck Halloween party, and, being me, I didn't want to just slice up fruit in a bowl. Soooo.. I got in way over my head and decided to make tiny jack-o-lantern fruit bowls out of oranges.
     Of  course, I needed lots a fruit, so I set out to Costco to buy in bulk, since I knew I needed a LOT of oranges. So, I hopped into the elevator and hit 1 to go down to the garage, and that's when I saw it. A new flyer. Every time something changes at the apartment, they post a new flyer. Last month, it was good news - they were setting up a raffle for people who paid their rent online. The chance to get $100 or $50 off next month's rent if we paid online. So, of course, J and I registered online and paid our rent, and a few weeks later I got a call saying we'd won $50 off our rent! Anyways, this flyer was NOT good news. Surprise! We're renovating the offices and all of the common areas including... the gym. I finally hop back on to the work-out bandwagon, and they decide that now would be the perfect time to renovate. Ugh. So, starting next week (and ending who-knows-when), the gym will be gone. The only good thing about this? They're supposedly getting newer and better gym equipment. The bad news is of course the fact that I have no idea when I'll be able to use said equipment. It could take a week, it could take a month. I have NO idea. And that bothers me greatly.
     How am I supposed to work out if I don't have the gym? For those of you who immediately start thinking "go running", you should know that running and I have never really gotten along. Every time I have tried going running (since gaining weight), I end up winded and completely dead before I've even gone a mile. I don't know if it's the high-impact aspect of it or what, but I'm just not in good enough shape to start running. Heck, I wasn't in good enough shape to go running 20 pounds ago. So, I guess I'll just have to do a lot of walking... and perhaps this will be a good excuse to go looking for a good place to go skating.
     Anyways.. if that weren't bad enough, I ended up having a whirlwind of a day.. in a bad sort of way. Making the fruit cups took WAY longer than expected, which meant we were running late to the party. I start to get dressed in my go-to black dress and realize I cant find my belt (which is really the only way that the dress fits properly - since my bust is so huge and my waist is not as). I get a bit flustered, since I thought I knew EXACTLY where it was and couldn't figure out how it had disappeared. I finally give up on the belt and go without. I decide to wear my super cute black tights (which I had bought ages ago, but hadn't gotten around to wearing), and proceed to rip a giant hole in them. Fortunately, the hole ended up being up near my hip, so it was hidden by my dress, but I was still rather upset at the loss. Then, still running late, we hop on the freeway and immediately see a huge cluster of emergency vehicles and traffic at an almost dead stop. It felt like everything was just falling apart around me. Fortunately, we were able to skirt past the accident in a relatively quick manner.
     My fruit cups were a hit (they were adorable, I wish I had taken pictures!), and the rest of the night went rather well, but at the end of it all, both J and I were exhausted. I'm actually still recovering. I may not have gotten in a real workout yesterday, but I did end up doing a LOT of walking and moving about, and I did a fairly good job of not stuffing my face with cupcakes. Overall, not a bad day, necessarily, but not really a good one either. I think I may just skip Halloween next year.

current weight: 184.6
weight lost: 1 pound
progress: exhausted (but not from exercise) cheated and ate a cupcake for Halloween - LOTS of fruit

Day 2

     I just got back from the gym. I know, I know, it's a bit late.. but better late than never, yeah? I had gone down earlier in the day to start my workout, but there were a few guys already down in the gym, so I left. I know this sounds really silly, but I just don't like working out in front of other people.. especially people in much better shape than I am. It makes me self-conscious and slightly embarrassed as I huff and puff on the elliptical. 
     I was, reluctantly, a member of an actual gym once. Back, when I was in college, my old softball coach decided to help by training me, so he got me a membership at Gold's and we would meet a few times a week to train. It was okay, but I always felt slightly awkward and disheartened. And let me tell you, that gym was fit. I mean, there wasn't a single other overweight person in sight. They were all super lean and fit and muscle-y, and I just didn't feel like I fit in. It made me uncomfortable being the only chubby girl at the gym. So, I eventually decided to cancel my membership (which was too expensive, anyways) and work out at home on my own. Obviously, that didn't work out terribly well. Then again, all I had to work with was a treadmill and a stationary bike, and I didn't like the treadmill, since it was hard on my body and wore me out before I could even make a mile.
     Now, I am in much better shape.. equipment wise, that is. I have multiple weight machines to work with, and my favorite elliptical. Speaking of which, I went a bit farther today and was able to keep up a slightly faster speed without feeling winded, which was good. My legs are a bit sore from yesterday, but I feel a bit stronger. Don't get me wrong, I was still itching to stop from the moment I started, but it was easier to push through.
     Tomorrow is Halloween, and I actually have things to do for a change! J and I are going to a party with friends, and we have to bring foodstuffs. I will most likely just be bringing fruit, since it seems like most other things are covered, but I would love to make them a bit more Halloween themed. So, tomorrow I will be seeking out a cute idea (or cute Halloween snack picks), as well as buying and preparing fruits. That being said, I have no idea how long such things will take, and I may not be able to get in a full work out. In addition, I may not be able to post on the blog tomorrow. Perhaps I'll post about the party on Friday. I'm crossing my fingers that I can be strong enough to not stuff my face with goodies. Especially since my friend Steph will probably be bringing something chocolatey and amazing. Man, I chose the wrong time of year to start this diet! haha!

current weight: 185
weight lost: 0.6 pounds (not getting excited yet, since the body naturally fluctuates)
progress: I feel a bit stronger - no cheating today (so far), and a spinach salad on the menu for dinner :)